


handle with care

by essenceofheroism



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, and just them, and sad, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 02:08:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11934102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/essenceofheroism/pseuds/essenceofheroism
Summary: "How long did it take?" Ragnor asks, "How long did it take you to forgive him?"





	handle with care

He watches him, alert and observant as he is. Ragnor does not like children of Raziel, does not approve how they live and breathe supremacy, or how they use his friend like he's theirs. He especially then, does not like it when one of them, their  _Head_ , for lord's sake, the worst of them all, has his friend’s heart in a chokehold.

Camille Delacourt had been an abomination, to understate it. She was cunning and she was treacherous but she was everything that Magnus saw coming. This one, this tall and dark Lightwood boy is different. He's different because he falls in and out of trust; he's worse because Magnus doesn't see this one coming. The Lightwood boy, Alexander, Magus calls him, has innocent eyes. He has eyes that Magnus says just can't lie and yet, here he is, heart shattered and scattered for the millionth time, spilling his heartache to his bestfriend's undead ghost, and Ragnor swears he won't be the one who lets a Shadowhunters become Magnus' demise.

Magnus tells him that he forgave Alec. Alec didn't know this yet but Magnus says he realized he wanted to, that he had always  _wanted_  to. Magnus told him he forgave Alec long before this night of the war, he just hadn't been ready to let himself have so much to lose all over again.

"How long did it take you?" Ragnor asks, "How long did it take you to forgive him?"

Magnus smiles, grim. There's something wilted in his eyes and Ragnor feels both a pang of sadness and a slash of rage boil in his unbeating heart. This is all  _his_  doing, he thinks.

"As long as it takes for a  _parabatai_  rune to fade," Magnus says.

At first, it doesn't make sense. And then, all at once, it snaps into focus. Magnus had witnessed Alec fall violently to the ground, clutching his side and begging Raziel to save Jace. To save the life of  _Jace_  of all people, probably the Shadowhunter protege with the luck and talent of the angel himself. And if Jace Wayland could have his story end in the time it took for Alec to fall to the ground, ( _imagine alec imagine alec)_ Magnus thinks the worst thing to happen to his heart is so much grander than heartbreak.

Sometimes, there are nightmares. The nightmares have Magnus in that same meeting room, Isabelle by his side, except this time, they have Jace spilling incoherent words into the room. This time, Jace falls with a violent energy and this time, it's his rune that fades from existence. This time, Magnus tries holding on to Alec's life but it slips through his fingers like grains of sand. All times, Magnus is too late and the thought of that is so big, it swallows him whole.

"At some point," Magnus starts in a faraway voice, as if his voice is here but his soul is somewhere even he can’t reach it. "You have to decide whether you love them more than you hate what they did. If you do, I think what is left is forgiveness."

Ragnor thought it over, rolled it around in his mind, and he tried to add his biased touch to convince himself that what Magnus was saying was wrong, what he was saying was compromising and Magnus shouldn't have to comprise, so he said with a forced intensity, "Magnus, are you sure about this? Is this even worth it? Is he—"

"Ragnor," Magnus interrupted, not unkindly yet firmly and Ragnor knew.

That look in Magnus was centuries worth of sharp determination and restlessness and he let it settle into his bones that it was there only and only for that Lightwood boy.

"Okay," he smiled. He will give Alec Lightwood the benefit of the doubt, if he's the one who puts the life back in Magnus' eyes and the warmth back in his voice. He will give a chance to this Shadowhunter because if he's the one, after all these years, who treats his friend's heart tenderly, then he will put his differences aside.

When Alec comes to Magnus' apartment that night, he knocks, Ragnor notices with amusement. At least some Shadowhunters are taught interpersonal manners.

"It's open," Magnus says from the living room, startling himself from this imaginary conversation with his imaginary undead friend.

When Alec Lightwood enters, or rather, stumbles through the door, his eyes are frantic. His hair is disheveled, as if he ran to the apartment (did he?) and there is tension in his posture, the way his fists are clenched so tight that his knuckles are pale enough to be invisible.

"Magnus?" Alec calls out, and Ragnor sees how Magnus' eyes turn sharp in front of him, any haze of what he wants or who he wants all evaporated at the single sound of Alec's voice.

Uninvited, Alec rushes towards Magnus on the couch, all unaware of the judgemental spirit of Ragnor sitting right beside him. One knee on the ground, he assesses Magnus, slow and careful, looking for something, his eyes flit with purpose and practice, like he's done this before. The way he swallows his own words before speaking tells Ragnor he's nervous.

"Clary-" he starts hesitantly, as if he just remembered that he ran into his ex-boyfriend's apartment without invitation. Ragnor doesn't fail to notice that this fact doesn't make him any less determined to do whatever he's doing.

"Clary told me that you weren't coming to the party thing they had tonight because you weren't feeling well," Alec says, his eyes never holding Magnus' long enough; they betray his vulnerability. It doesn't stop him for going on though, Ragnor marvels.

"And I was just thinking back about how you collapsed beside the rift today and I know that took a lot out of you—"

"Alec—"

"I know, I know, you're the High Warlock of Brooklyn, but you're also —" Alec shifts, bites his own tongue before continuing, "If you need my energy, I can give that and I'll leave after," he rushes to say, and he's already pulling up his sleeve to ready himself to give up un-virgin Shadowhunter strength. It's strange, Ragnor thinks, he's the one offering to give something up and yet there's something in his voice that's also begging. "I'm not asking for anything more. I just, I need you to be alright."

When Magnus finally convinces Alec that he's truly alright, just didn't feel very party-like tonight, Alec's eyes go soft with relief and something else that is hesitant but he keeps his word and turns to leave with a small smile. When Magnus reaches for Alec's wrist and says, "Alexander, could you stay?" and Ragnor gets a front row seat at the unguarded way a heart string flies loose in Alec's chest and his shoulders fall with something so much grander than relief, Ragnor realizes his work here is done.

Maybe Alec Lightwood will be the one that stayed.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment or ten.   
> find me on tumblr @ ohliverfelicity


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